Thinking of runing away?

it's not that i hate my family, heck there the best thing in my life. Just i have anxiety problems and im too shy, i stress out over little things and take anything personally. I feel like my best friend doesn't want to be my friend anymore and i'll have nobody. It sucks to say but i cry alot at night, and suicidal thoughts have happened before even an attempt or 2 but i never cut. Also for a year now i've worried about my weight, i think it's an eating disorder. I can't tell anyone though i don't want to be one of them people who need "help" but i can't leave it any longer. Thats why i want to run away, into a city and live off the streets. Getting picked up by someone doesn't scare me, in fact i want it to happen. i was going to do it last year, december, but i broke into tears and called it off. Please help i don't know what to do? i'm not brave enough to tell anyone but i can't just lgo on any longer. i appreciate any help :) x